What is Dementia?

Dementia is a cognitive disease that results in the decline of cognitive abilities – memory and thinking skills. Someone who is living with dementia brain cells are dying gradually and they have lost the ability to learn new things. The only way to reduce cognitive decline is to reinforce skills or memories that dementia patients are familiar with.

Conversation Starter: For People Living with Dementia

To interact with someone living with dementia, you should appeal to their 5 senses – sight, touch, hearing, taste and smell. You can use tools like old photographs, favourite food or songs to help stimulate their memories. This will help bring back memories for them. Engage your loved one by asking simple questions about the item and have a conversation with them.

Dementia Tools You Can Use!

The key to communicating and engaging with your loved one is to get them to reminisce and talk about the past.

Old Photographs 

Engage with your loved ones in a conversation about the past using old photographs. You can ask them if they remember this set of location, who did they go with and what did they do there.

Music 

Play some songs your loved one likes. Music is a great intervention for a person living with dementia as it helps to prevent the further deterioration of their cognitive abilities. You can engage them with questions like where did they hear the song from, and what does it remind them of.

Food

If your loved ones like to cook, you can give them ingredients of their favourite recipes. Start the conversation with your loved one by asking them the process of cooking using the ingredients that you have given them. Get them to teach you how to cook their favourite recipes.

SilverCare Toys

Silvercare toys are designed for older adults with dementia. They are great activities to engage with your loved ones. You can try toys like puzzles, pokers cards and bowling pins. You can find out more about silvercare toys at Kydz International website.

4 Tips for Caregivers: 

1. Stay calm and cool when interacting with someone living with dementia.
2. Try to step into their shoes and understand from their point of view. Be patient with them.  
3. Speak in shorter sentences. Give concise information instead of rambling on. 
4. Do not bombard your loved one with dementia with loads of information and questions.

About Jaga-Me

Jaga-Me is an award-winning home care service provider. If you need quality care for your loved ones, we have trained professionals that will help you take care of your loved one. With Jaga-Me, you can have a worry-free day or a good night’s rest. To find out more about respite care for your loved ones, you can visit our services page here. If you want to read more about how to interact effectively with your loved one, you can click here. 

Award winning Home Care trusted by health professionals – Jaga-Me

For the last 20 years after my grandfather’s death, my maternal Ah Ma has been living with us. When I was younger, she was like a second mother to my brother and I. She would pick us home from school and tuition classes. She would cook, clean and help out around the house whenever she could. My Ah Ma used to be a gentle and soft spoken lady. Ah Ma was patient, loving and never raised her voice at us.

When your Life Revolves Around her Needs

After her fall in the middle of the night around 2-3 years ago, we tried our best not to leave her alone at home. My family had to arrange our schedules to ensure that she is not alone at home and that someone would be home to keep her company. Even though she is mobile and has recovered, she still needs constant care and monitoring to ensure that she does not fall again. My Ah Ma has grown to become extremely reliant on having someone with her at all time and requires our constant attention even at night to make sure she is safe. As she grew older, her behaviour has changed and she regressed to being child-like and became extremely dependent on others to guide her through her daily life.

She was no longer the quiet lady I knew

Emotional outbursts are common and life at home became extremely stressful and tiring. Sometimes, I feel like I am walking on eggshells at home. Her temperament started changing and she became extremely fussy and particular about the cleanliness around the house. She is obsessed with keeping the house neat and tidy according to her expectations and standards. Little things like the placement of the chopping board or the cup are dictated by her. She often put herself in precarious situations where she might fall – like playing with water in the bathroom or climbing up chairs and stools to reach for things in the cupboard.

“How many cups of rice?”

This question is repeated around 5 or 6 times a day. My Ah Ma has trouble gauging how many cups of rice she needs to cook for the family and she has issue cooking rice properly. The rice she cooks is either too mushy or too hard. Sometimes, she underestimates the amount of water needed to cook the rice and

Is it a Sign of Dementia?

She has been cooking for over 60 years but today, simple things like cooking rice or even a steam egg become difficult for her. Is this an early sign of dementia? This is the question we ask ourselves as her behaviour start to become eccentric. Getting a diagnosis from a doctor is nearly impossible because she does not want to go for a dementia checkup. She does not want to entertain the possibility of having dementia and she is too prideful to get a diagnosis.

How Did We Cope?

Despite my story sounding like a flurry of complaints, resentment and unhappiness, not every moment spent with her is bad. Essentially, I do not want to sugarcoat my experience caring for my Ah Ma because it is a tough and emotionally draining especially when it feels like you are alone on this journey with no one else to support you. As cliche as it sounds, I learnt to be more forgiving and patient while caring for my Ah Ma.

I realised that in the hecticness of our lives, at times we forget about our loved ones and neglect them. Spending time with my Ah Ma for the last 2- 3 years allows me to understand her better and know that she feels lonely at times and simply want to engage a conversation with us – just that she resorted to repetitions of questions or constant nagging to connect with us. Over the past few years, I learn how to be a better listener, make compromises and sacrifices. Jaga-Me has published a Care Guide on caring for a family member with Dementia which you may find useful.

For now, the journey forward will be challenging but I have learnt to be patient and accepting of her needs and to be there with her when she needs me.

At Jaga-Me, we believe that healthcare should be a social good – it is a basic human need, and should be available to as many people as possible. We aim to deliver the highest quality care through innovation and a commitment to building meaningful relationships.

Save travelling and long wait times at the hospitals. Get specialised medical treatments:
– Urinary Catheterisation
– Complex Wound Care
– Nasogastric (NG) Feeding Tube
– IV Infusion Therapy

Jaga-Me: Your Trusted Medical Home Care Professional

Through my years of experience as a nurse, I knew that we had to seek help from a doctor when she started exhibiting signs of forgetfulness and she had difficulty completing tasks she used to be able to do. The key to better understand a dementia patient’s current condition is to know which stage of dementia they are at.

The stages of dementia are determined by asking basic questions like:

1. Who is the Prime Minister of Singapore?
2. What time is it now?
3. Where are you currently?

Through the patient’s answers to these questions, you will have a rough understanding of how severe the dementia is.

Usually patients who are in the early to middle stages have trust issues and they do not like caregivers or nurses to touch them. I used to have a patient who has dementia who thinks that I was going to snatch her husband. The types of behaviour displayed has a wide range for dementia patients. We have seen patients who are violent and aggressive or some patients who are silent and unresponsive.

What are the Different Stages of Dementia:

According to Alzheimer’s Disease Association (Singapore), a patient suffering from dementia will exhibit different behaviour changes as they progresses from early dementia stage to the advanced stage.

Early Stage: Your loved one will exhibit typical signs of ageing like forgetfulness. However, they are still able to perform basic activities of living (ADLs) – (e.g. bathing, walking, dressing, eating, toileting, transferring). They are still able to socialise and even drive.

There was once my mother forgot where she put her red purse. She started accusing me of stealing her purse with $800 inside. So, I calmly asked her where she last put her purse. She could not give me a concrete answer, so I helped to search for her purse. Turns out, she threw her purse in the bin.

Middle Stage: Patient might only be able to perform 3 out of 6 of the ADLs. They will exhibit behavioural changes like not knowing how to wear their clothes or how to button their shirt/blouse.

When my mother-in-law’s condition deteriorated to the middle stage of her dementia, she was not able to dress herself. And she started defecating in her pants and putting them in her wardrobe. It was extremely tiring and emotionally draining seeing my mother-in-law’s condition deteriorating,

Advance Stage: At the advanced stage, the patient might not be able to do any ADLs and he/she will have to be fully dependent on the caregiver or medical professional.

How to Manage a Dementia Loved One when he/she throws a Tantrum or Acts up:

When your loved one is diagnosed with dementia, it is never going to be easy. There will be a drastic change in both your life and your loved one. Amidst the chaos and turbulence in your loved one’s life, the key is for you (the caregiver) to remain constant and be present for your loved one.

As cliche as it sounds, the main thing is to remain patient. I know it sounds easy, but I have experienced it and we are all human, I know it is not easy to remain patient and forgiving when your loved ones repeat his/her question like the 5th or 6th time. But we always have to remain calm and patient.

When the Little Things in Life Start to Become more Complicated and Repetitive…

My mother had problems remembering when she had lunch, so she will eat her meals twice. Or she had issues remembering to take her medications. Sometimes it can get very frustrating and I really felt angry at her. But I always give myself a minute or two to calm down before engaging a conversation with her again.

The key is to remain calm and not challenge your loved one, here are some tips on how to engage meaningfully with your loved one with dementia.

How to Care for Yourself?

For me caring for my mother in law was draining and extremely tiring. Especially when you are stressed out at work, going home was another form of stress for me. I was not able to have a good night’s sleep because she will wake me up in the middle of the night like 2 or 3 am. I had to juggle caring for my kids and my mother-in-law, it was an extremely trying time.

Feeling drained and burnt out is common among caregivers. The key is to not push yourself to the limits. Find time to give yourself a break and accept that you are only human. It is important to care for yourself because your loved one needs you.

I had to give myself an avenue to release my stress. So I attended a caregiver’s stress management workshop. It was designed for caregivers caring for dementia patients. I had the opportunity to learn and better understand what dementia is all about and why is my mother-in-law behaving like this etcetera.

One key thing I learnt from caring for my mother-in-law was not to challenge them but to accept the situation and go with the flow. I always believe that nothing is permanent is this world, so we should not take their words to heart.

We can help

If you need someone to care for your loved one while you run your errands or simply to take a break from your caregiving responsibility simply engage our respite care services. We will be there with you and your loved one on your caregiving journey.

We also recommend reading Your Guide to Oral Nutritional Supplements (ONS) and Apps For Diabetics: 5 Aspects To Look Out For.

At Jaga-Me, we believe that healthcare should be a social good – it is a basic human need, and should be available to as many people as possible. We aim to deliver the highest quality care through innovation and a commitment to building meaningful relationships.

Save travelling and long wait times at the hospitals. Get specialised medical treatments:
– Urinary Catheterisation
– Complex Wound Care
– Nasogastric (NG) Feeding Tube
– IV Infusion Therapy

Jaga-Me: Your Trusted Medical Home Care Professional